You can call me Plumber Jane…

Posted on | May 24, 2011 | 5 Comments

We moved here on Thursday of last week.  Although I had a washer and dryer in Savannah and brought them here with me, the dryer wasn’t working properly.  I went out and bought a new dryer (with money I didn’t have) and waited for it to arrive so I could begin doing the mountains of laundry that have been piling up for two weeks.  This morning, the dryer arrived and I was so excited I could barely stand it.  One thing I hate is having a laundry basket overflowing with clothes and mine had taken over the floor like kudzu.

They installed the dryer, I threw J in the car to hit up Walgreens for detergent, and then came home ready to launder.  First thing I realized was that although the movers had hooked up the water hoses, they hadn’t turned on the water.  Easy enough, right? I turned on the hot water nozzle… success.  Then I turned on the cold water nozzle.

Water. Sprayed. Everywhere.

Nasty, cold, rusty water, spraying me in the face and soaking my shirt like I’m some crazed spring break-er.

I turned the water off and stood there for a moment.  Although my husband was never a fixer anyway, I momentarily wondered who I was supposed to call now that he’s not here.  Let’s be real, though, if he were here he would have just freaked out and semi-yelled WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT! I DON”T KNOW WHAT TO DO! THERE’S WATER EVERYWHERE! OH MY GOD WE’RE GOING TO DROWN IN OUR SLEEP” and then, ultimately, after running around ripping his hair out and claiming the sky was falling, his final answer would have just been “Let me call my Dad.”

So I pulled out my tools and scrounged for one that would fit.  Nothing seemed big enough.  Finally I got the pliers and tightened the washer only to find that even in it’s totally tight state, the water still flowed.

Now. What.

Well, I’ll tell you what.  I washed load one in straight hot water.  I already had a guy coming out to check the dryer vent so I called and asked if he’d also be able to replace the washer on the, well, washer.  He said yes and came out and took a look.  He said it just wasn’t fully tightened on and he tightened it and went on his way.

First home repair completed.

Or so I thought.

I put a load in the washer, turned it on, and went on with my day.  J went down for his nap and I finally sat down for lunch. About the time the rinse cycle started, I started hearing… splatter.  I walked around the corner and looked down the hallway.

Holy Mother of Water.

The “tightened valve” was vomiting water all over the washer, the dryer, and my hardwood floors.  Mess central.  My only happy thought was that J was sleeping and not laughing maniacally while dousing himself with cold water.  Four large bath towels later, the mess was cleaned and I called the plumber back.  He returned an hour later and sheepishly replaced the washer.  You know, the one I said I thought needed replacing the first time I called?

Yeah.  You can call me self-sufficient now if you’d like.

You can also call me Plumber Jane.


5 Responses to “You can call me Plumber Jane…”

  1. aims
    May 24th, 2011 @ 5:59 pm

    i hope someday you look back on these blogs and laugh. men. can’t live with them and killing them is illegal .. was the plumber at least worth looking at? twice?
    hope the weather is good there,
    love aims

  2. Chunky Mama
    May 24th, 2011 @ 6:55 pm

    Nice diagnosis, Plumber Jane.
    But sorry you are having a less than stellar day. I hope tomorrow is uneventful.

  3. Jessica @ Raising an Owlet
    May 24th, 2011 @ 9:20 pm

    way to go Law Momma!

  4. Kim
    May 24th, 2011 @ 10:20 pm

    You rock!!! I admire your inventive way to get the floors washed. How clever you are!

  5. Cindy
    May 25th, 2011 @ 11:19 am

    OMG, I just had to laugh when I read this b/c it reminded me so much of myself when I was first on my own. I got the extended service plan on my washer/dryer and lawnmower b/c I knew that I would never figure out how to clean/maintain/winterize any of the above. For my first birthday after separating I asked for a cordless drill and have just amazed myself with all the household tasks I have figured out (rescreening a door the dog ran through, spackling a wall my son ran his skateboard into!

    You got the washer fixed and the floor washed all at the same time! Hang on to your sense of humor and google will tell you the rest when it comes to home repairs!

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