Single Successes

Posted on | June 3, 2011 | 35 Comments

There are a lot of hard things about being a single parent.  A lot.  And I could write a book on all of the hardships and how tired I am and how much I worry about raising my son properly and doing the best I can for him. Because as single parents, it’s our job to worry for two, right? We have to worry enough for two parents because we serve our child as both mother and father. 

So yes, there are plenty of things that I do wrong and that I stress and worry about.  There are plenty of times when I want to put my head down on the pillow at night and sob until I can’t find the tears to cry with.  There are plenty of times when I want to throw in the towel, cry “mercy,” and call for some time of emergency reinforcements.

But for every time that happens, for every fail and shortcoming that I see in myself and my parenting and my housekeeping and my lawyering, there are two or more amazing things that counteract the bad.  Because yes, we shoulder double the burden as single parents, but we also shoulder twice the praise when something goes right.

So from now on, on Fridays, I’m going to try to post what went right in my week.  I’m going to post what I did that was totally freaking rockstar awesome.  As single parents, we don’t always have someone else patting us on the back… and I figure my arm reaches that far, at least right now, so I should be my own damn cheerleader.  We’re muddling through this, one day at a time, and while there are things I do wrong, dammit, there are things that I do right.

These are my single successes:

1. I put together a self-assemble television stand with instructions from hell and only put two parts in backwards.  (Yes, my cousin helped, but the backwards stuff and the way to fix it was all me, so I consider that a success!)

2. I got up, showered, got ready for work, fed J, and dropped him off at daycare today and still had time to pick up donuts for the office before arriving only five minutes late. AND I let my cousin sleep in so I could have a trial run at getting ready without her.

3. I handled my first deposition at my new firm which resulted in the other attorney agreeing to settle the sweet client’s claim and also, bonus, resulted in my first hug from a client… ever.

4. Instead of freaking out, I laughed for five minutes when the man at Krispy Kreme turned and asked me if he could borrow my debit card and PIN so he could get gas.  He followed the request up by saying that he had stolen a truck and needed to fuel it up so he could return it to its rightful owner.  He was joking.  I hope.

5. Except for being five minutes late today (which I think was placated with donuts), I’ve been on time to work every day this week.

6.  I haven’t thought about calling my ex to share any news. Not even once. All week long.

7. I made up my bed every day.  Which is freaking huge. (the fact that I did it, not the bed)

8.  Last night I vacuumed the entire house after dinner and still made time to snuggle and have a bowl of ice cream with J.

9. When my brother pointed out all the spots where a second coat of paint was needed in my bedroom, I didn’t immediately think I was a failure and rush to re-open the paint can and do it all over.  Instead, I laughed, shoved him out of the room and turned off the light.  Looks good to me so, boom.

10. I made homemade ice cream. Which might be my most favorite thing in the world.  And even though the electric mixer wouldn’t work, I stirred it by hand, froze it in the freezer, and found that it tasted just as good. 

So there you have it.  My single successes for the week.  They’re not much, but they’re a start.  What have you succeeded at this week?  Let me know, because I’ve got a big old pat on the back for you and maybe even a high five!


35 Responses to “Single Successes”

  1. TheNextMartha
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 9:47 am


  2. Headmistress Yca
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 9:47 am

    You are a rockstar, my dear. In fact, Lady Gaga could totally take lessons from you. I’ve got two hands ready for you – one to pat you on the back, and the other to hand you a margarita! xo

  3. Verna
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 9:49 am

    Good job you!! ; )

  4. facie
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 9:50 am

    You are awesome! Wish I had something to pat myself on the back about, but nothing is nearly as impressive as yours. You go!

  5. Law Momma
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 9:50 am

    Facie: you SO have something to pat yourself on the back about! Are you up and out of bed? SCORE! It’s the little things, sometimes.

  6. aims
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 9:59 am

    lol, sounds like you had a good week!!! consider yourself patted on the back. now, i know you’re all rockstar on us and stuff, but down south leather pants might chafe..just saying. . love aims

  7. Adrianne
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 10:14 am

    I’ve been following your struggles intently, as I fear I may soon be in your shoes. I’m happy to see there are successes. (((hugs)))

  8. Heather
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 10:16 am

    That sounds like a whole plate full of success to me! 😀

    Work it, girl!

  9. Jill
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 10:17 am

    I am a single Momma to a 10 month old (who is thisclose to walking!!) and this morning I actually got myself out of bed 5 minutes BEFORE my alarm went off so the dogs were fed & put outside, morning bottle made and hair fixed for work all before getting my little Dennis the Menace in the making out of his crib!! This NEVER happens – he ALWAYS beats my alarm and I usually start my day trying to get ready for work and making sure short-stuff doesn’t drop something on his head, foot, eye, etc…I am exhausted before I even leave the house and work a 9 hour day!!

  10. Law Momma
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 10:19 am

    you are most definitely a rock star!!! I’ve been trying to beat J out of bed all week and it’s just not working for me.

  11. Mrs. MidAtlantic
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 10:22 am

    That looks like a pretty solid week! The hug from that client must have felt fantastic! I hope there are many more hugs for you in the very near future.

  12. aim
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 10:30 am

    Whohoo! Lots of major good stuff 😉

  13. Nikki
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 10:31 am

    You are a total ROCKSTAR! You are an amazing person and mother!

  14. Maureen
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 10:40 am

    Great idea! All of your accomplishments are HUGE…you had an awesome week 🙂 I think as you focus more and more on all of your positives, the megativity you feel will begin to lessen. I have been trying to do this, and it has made a big difference in my way of thinking, and I can slowly see myself becoming an optimist!

    This week, I managed to do a good job of keeping my mouth shut and losing it on my soon to be ex, who refuses to move out of the house, and who is determined to make me as miserable as possible. I won’t give him the satisfaction! More importantly, it was a beautiful day yesterday, and I spent the entire morning with my soon to be 5 year old on the deck. We sang, we laughed, we saw butterflies and a blue jay, and we played with her princesses. She’s my baby, and she’s going to kindergarten in the fall, and spending time with her is more important than having a clean house or an empty laundry basket (like that could ever happen!)

  15. Law Momma
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 12:29 pm

    Rock. Freaking. Star.

    You are amazing, Maureen! High fives!!

  16. Casey
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 10:42 am

    OMG, you say it’s not much but it’s a start?! It is soooo much. You. are. doing. it! You got this down, my friend. Kicking ass at work and making your bed (AND ice cream!). You are totally a rockstar! There will always be worries and stress, and tears too, but you aren’t “figuring this out” anymore….you got it! I think you are awesome. (In a non-weird, not creepy sort of way.)

  17. Maija @ Maija's Mommy Moments
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 10:44 am

    You made the bed every day this week? WOW! That’s five times more than I made mine. You definitely deserve a pat on the back for that one 🙂

  18. KLZ
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 10:47 am

    Homemade ice cream would be an accomplishment for me if I were a single childless person. I am in awe.

  19. Andrea @paralegalmom
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 10:54 am

    Those are fabulous accomplishments!!!!! And client hugs? Are the best payment ever. It is so wonderful to know what we do is appreciated.

    Here’s a fun ice cream project for you guys:

  20. lisa
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 11:07 am

    yay for you!!! keep up the good work!!!

  21. Steph
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 11:19 am

    You kinda wore me out and you’re awesome!! See? I knew there were GOOD reasons for your lack of a post yesterday! Cuz you were too busy making ice cream to post! :o) Also? I can’t get to work on time if my life depends on it and I’m not a single parent. That in itself makes me want to either bow down to you or smack ya for making me look bad! I am SO not a morning person! ((((HUGS))))

  22. Suz B
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 1:34 pm

    I love that your client hugged you. Awesome list! Continue keeping track of the good & I bet you’ll even quicker forget the bad.

  23. Kristen
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 1:56 pm

    Sounds like a great week!

    I am in disbelief at #4. That’s hilarious.

  24. Roxanne
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 1:56 pm

    Good for you! Single successes is a wonderful idea. It’s great to celebrate the successes in our lives.

    I was successful in making it to the gym 4 days this week (kid was with his dad). I’m pretty proud of that, since I hadn’t been to the gym in so long b/c of my back pain.

  25. Law Momma
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 2:12 pm

    Omg that’s amazing!!! I don’t think I’ve been to the gym four times this YEAR!!

  26. Fancy
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 3:48 pm

    Good for you! I didn’t have nearly that many successes this week. 🙂

    I did, however, bake a lasagna last night so that Friday night dinner is already made. That means I can have some fun with my kiddo instead of cooking & cleaning tonight!

  27. Law Momma
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 4:03 pm

    I know where I’m having dinner tonight… 🙂 HIGH FIVE!

  28. strugglingforeverafter
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 9:21 pm

    “They’re not much” ?? I beg to differ… it sounds like a fab list of accomplishments!

    PS – I hope your new job doesn’t require 40hr billable per week. That floored me when you posted that a while back. I am on billable time too, but my boss is thrilled with anything more than 25hr a week! (But I am a consultant not a lawyer.)

  29. Law Momma
    June 3rd, 2011 @ 11:47 pm

    Even better… My new job has NO billable hours!! 🙂

  30. Chunky Mama
    June 4th, 2011 @ 1:47 am

    OK, completely awesome, made my day, sitting here with a huge grin post!
    Good for you for giving yourself the high five you deserve. 🙂

    PS My awesome thing was to take my twin 17 mos olds and their 3yr old brother to the park AND the zoo all by myself this week while Hubby was working.

  31. Erica Snipes
    June 4th, 2011 @ 10:30 pm

    This is a great idea to have “why we’re awesome” fridays! And you said your positives this week weren’t MUCH?! Are you crazy?! They were HUGE!!! As for me, well, it hasn’t been a great week, lots of stress at work, lots of stress in our finances, but at the end of the day, my husband and I haven’t killed each other or the kids, the cars are still running, there is food, and a house to live in. Oldest won her softball game today. Meh. Somehow, in some fashion, the bills will all get paid and our house won’t be foreclosed on. We’ll see how we do…

  32. IdahoGirl
    June 5th, 2011 @ 11:02 pm

    Way to go!!!! We’ve known all along you could do it, now you know you can do it!

  33. Heather
    June 6th, 2011 @ 11:40 am

    Those successes are awesome! I look forward to more Friday posts celebrating you as rock star! And many congrats on the non-billable gig. I’ve done both and I dare say I will never bill again. Screw those 6 minute increments. Seriously.

  34. Roxanne
    June 7th, 2011 @ 7:38 pm

    Oops, just saw you responded to my earlier comment.

    Yeah, it’s a little easier to get to the gym & such when you have joint physical custody (I don’t know your situation exactly). Plus, my kiddo is 4 so sometimes I take him to the gym and he plays in a corner. Or walks around talking to people. It’s a small gym at my apartment, so I haven’t had any problems in that arena. Yet.

    Keep celebrating those successes!

  35. Weekend Recap « Paralegal Mom
    June 13th, 2011 @ 9:34 am

    […] taking a page from the Law Momma book and focusing on the successes of this weekend.  Much more pleasant than the […]

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