Single Successes

Posted on | July 22, 2011 | 13 Comments

I’m not going to lie to you, it has been a long time since my Ex picked up J for a weekend and … dare I say it… I’m looking forward to a weekend by myself. I feel like I should almost be ashamed to say that outloud, like typing it somehow makes me less of a mother or somehow love my son less than I should. But no one could ever love my son more than I love him so I take comfort in that fact and in the fact that sometimes? It’s okay to take time to breathe.

I plan on taking myself out to the movies and maybe to a fancy dinner. I will work on Saturday morning at the office and on Saturday afternoon at my house. I will spend Sunday working in the yard. And then on Sunday night when my son throws himself into my open arms and smells all warm and full of sunshine, I will be relaxed and rested and ready to single-parent again for the next five or six weeks.

This week has been hard because I’ve been so stressed out. I spent all last weekend working in the yard, sometimes with a little helper, and sometimes while he was napping. I learned some valuable lessons like don’t water the lawn after you spend all day mowing it because that only leads to you needing to mow the damn grass again the following weekend. I worked hard all week, juggling a sick child, a busy work schedule and a house that desperately needs cleaning for longer than the 10 minutes I can manage at night before I’m summoned back to “Momma” duty. And so I deserve a break. I deserve to take a shower without having to sing “You are my Sunshine” and periodically speak to the little face poking around my shower curtain. I deserve to pee without an audience for a few days. I deserve to eat dinner without sharing and to sleep in a bed all by myself.

There were successes too, and that’s what this Friday thing is all about, so here goes:

1. I got a sponsor and have successfully instituted a random policy of texting her exactly what I want to say to my Ex, sometimes without any explanation which then, I’m sure, leaves her wondering why I’m saying these things to her and if I’m perhaps a lesbian.

2. I planted two bushes in my front yard on Saturday, pulled all the ivy out of my back yard, trimmed the hedges and weeded out half of the azalea bushes in my front hard. This was hard work and I deserve some serious booze as a result.

3. For the first time in my life I mowed both the front and back yards of my house.

4. I instituted a weekly Comp meeting at work which has resulted in us getting a lot more done in a lot less time and also gives us an hour each week to bitch, moan, and complain while also delegating work loads out between legal assistants, paralegals, and attorneys.

5. I conquered the “bath fear” that has plagued my son for the past three weeks by plopping myself down in the bathtub and letting him pour water on MY head so he could see that it doesn’t hurt. Sure it was messy and unorthodox, but he took baths without screaming after that, so it’s a win!

It’s not a ton, I suppose, but I feel justified in pouring myself a glass of wine tonight and maybe even renting a movie if I don’t make it out to Harry Potter. Also? For the first time, I’m opening this up for links. Do you want to share your successes? Link up and let me know what was totally amazing about your week!


13 Responses to “Single Successes”

  1. Sarah
    July 22nd, 2011 @ 10:32 am

    You are doing a great job, love the bath idea!!

    Enjoy this weekend by yourself, and I hope you are going to see HP!!

  2. Jill
    July 22nd, 2011 @ 10:40 am

    Not sure if these qualify as successes…but for me they feel like they are…(1) When I finally sought some child support from my son’s “father”, all of a sudden he decided he wasn’t his father & wanted DNA testing…Okay…I set it up as he requested & he didn’t show to the appt. I did not go to his house & kill him. Success. (2) HIS father (my son’s grandfather) called me that night just to “check in” and see how my son is doing…I remained polite & courteous & did not throw HIS son under the bus by telling him what an SOB he is. Success. (3) We settled a multi-million dollar med mal case at work & I no longer have a crapload of pleadings coming in on a daily basis for this one case. Success. (4) My 11.5 month old son took his first steps alone yesterday. 5 of them. And I was there to see them. MAJOR SUCCESS!! This was a pretty good week. 🙂

  3. R's Mom
    July 22nd, 2011 @ 10:45 am

    It sounds like you had an amazingly productive week despite having a sick child. Kudos to you!

    And don’t feel bad about craving some “me” time. We all need it from time to time. In the past few weeks I have beaten myself up more than once when R has woken up for the day at early o’clock ready to go, and the first thing I think of is my work trip in a few weeks where will get to sleep in a hotel room all by myself and possibly sleep until 8:00 a.m. a morning or two. But it’s not because I don’t love R…and I know that I will miss him terribly while I’m gone. Same thing for you — you will miss J terribly this weekend, but also recharge & refresh for when he gets home. On that note — your plans for the weekend seem pretty full. Don’t forget to sneak in a luxurious middle of the afternoon nap, too!!

  4. Law Momma
    July 22nd, 2011 @ 11:16 am

    Jill? I consider those MAJOR successes!!! I am not sure I could be as strong as you, lady. Kudos!

  5. Maria
    July 22nd, 2011 @ 11:23 am

    I love that you end the work week with this post! It allows me to look back on my week and count my successes too. We are so busy beating ourselves up for things that we should do differently. It’s nice to have a chance to look back and not do that! Thank you. You’re amazing!

  6. Sarah
    July 22nd, 2011 @ 11:33 am

    I can completely identify with the, ” I feel like I should almost be ashamed to say that outloud, like typing it somehow makes me less of a mother or somehow love my son less than I should.” comment.

    I think I’ve said it out loud like maybe a couple of times. And even then, I feel like I’m the worst mother ever.

    My successes for this week?

    1. I’m babysitting a friend’s cat (Velociraptor… She has two boys who got to name the cat) and she’s happy, healthy and feeling loved.

    2. I taught Talulah about being gentle with cats.

    3. We had healthy dinners every night except for one and… I’ve finally figured out a way to get Talulah to not only eat her veggies (mainly broccoli) but LOVE them too! (Steam them and then refrigerate and serve them COLD.) One time, she even cried because I had more “brockies” than she did. Of course I shared. 🙂

    4. I rode my bike to work for the first time ever. I was terrified, but I survived!

    5. Talulah and I are going to a potluck BBQ tonight and I actually prepared something to bring instead of just stopping at the store and grabbing something pre-made! (I think this is the first time since becoming a single mom that I’m not “that” potluck participant.) 🙂

    6. I finally made some ME time and went to see a movie by myself. You know how it’s my favourite thing ever? I’ve been craving it for months but hadn’t done it in even longer. It felt so good to just drop everything and do it. (And, the movie was great too so that was a bonus!)

    My house still needs a good cleaning, but I’m happy with my successes this week!

  7. Anthony from CharismaticKid
    July 22nd, 2011 @ 12:08 pm

    This is great focusing on positives in your life. I do that everyday. I don’t even think about negatives… okay well maybe sometimes.

  8. Kinnison
    July 22nd, 2011 @ 1:05 pm

    All incredible reasons to celebrate AND have a nice cold drink!

    Just a suggestion…if you want a good laugh, go see “Horrible Bosses” (assuming you’re not offended by language and raunchy/lewd sex jokes/comments). It is absolutely HILARIOUS and will give you a good “pee-in-your-pants” laugh which is ALWAYS good for the soul!!

  9. Anne Marie@Baby Makes Us Family
    July 22nd, 2011 @ 4:20 pm

    I stumbled upon your blog from somewhere else (wish I could remember!) and I just wanted to say that I really enjoy reading it. I love your blog because you are a full-time mom and have a full-time job, like myself. People used to say to me that being a mom is the hardest job in the world but I think being a working mom is the hardest. I look forward to reading your blog!

  10. H's Mom
    July 22nd, 2011 @ 5:18 pm

    Great Post…My successes go as follows:

    1.My brother started “shuffling” the new dance craze and made my 5 month old belt out laughing for the first time. Hearing her laugh like that was amazing.

    2.I got back to working out…need to get in shape for my Hawaii trip next year.

    3.Started eating healthier and it doesn’t feel like I’m on a diet.

    Yup that’s it, but I’m happy with that.

  11. Roxanne
    July 22nd, 2011 @ 5:19 pm

    I’d feel weird linking up, since I didn’t actually talk about it being a “Success” but my success this week is signing up for an online dating service. I don’t know if I’m ready to actual date, but I put myself out there. I’m seeing what’s going on. I haven’t been on a date in….a really long time. So that’s my last post, it’s about signing up for online dating. Check it out if you want, but I didn’t feel it was appropriate to link up.

    I’m proud of your successes! I hope you enjoy your weekend.

  12. beachmum
    July 22nd, 2011 @ 9:03 pm

    Yay! Love the bath idea. might have to try it.
    I’m so glad there were so many things going right this week for you! I guess I had a small triumph-I was a single parent this week all while trying to come down off a vacation high. Not a fun gig. Have a fun weekend. You deserve it!

  13. KristinaYellow
    July 25th, 2011 @ 11:25 am

    I love this! Getting out and doing the yard stuff in this heat is miserable so major props for you doing that. And for figuring out a way to make bathtime easier? SuperMom! Thanks for sharing all your successes…it reminds me to really take a minute away from all the “I should do…” and think on the “I did…” instead.

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