Enunciate, please.

Posted on | August 18, 2011 | 15 Comments

Last night, J woke up in the middle of the night.

First, he called for a different pacifier.

Then he called for more milk.

Then, he started saying something on repeat that sounded almost exactly as though he were saying “F_CK.”

I listened closer. Still sounded like that.  I took the pacifier out of his mouth… still. sounded. like. that.

Now, I’m not a perfect mother by any stretch of anyone’s imagination but I can 100% guarantee I have not said that word around my child.  So I keep asking him to repeat himself.

Finally he gets around to using it in a sentence, you know, for the dumb folk like me.

“Watch F-CK?”

Clearly, CLEARLY that is not what he said.  I start to toddler interpret.

“Watch SHREK?” I’m grasping.


Oh. Thank. God. I mean, no, he couldn’t watch the movie at 2 am, but still.

It did, however, lead to an interesting conversation this morning at daycare with his teacher where I had to tell her if he started asking to watch “f-ck” he meant a large green ogre and a donkey… who most definitely are not doing THAT. (At least not on my tv.)


15 Responses to “Enunciate, please.”

  1. Mom-nom
    August 18th, 2011 @ 1:51 pm

    Bubbette dances around our living room asking for her “cock”

    Sock, as I like to call them.

    Now? We make her repeat it every time we put on her shoes.

    We’re horrible parents.

  2. Anonymous
    August 18th, 2011 @ 1:54 pm

    Haha! That makes you hilarious, not horrible.

  3. Alycia Palmer
    August 18th, 2011 @ 2:18 pm

    My Daughter used to walk around the house saying Bull SH*T, later to find she had picked it up from watching my Sisters Volleyball Practices where we would always say PUSH IT.
    nothing like volleyball tournys with a one year old cheering Bull Sh*t, Bull Sh*t 🙂

  4. Anonymous
    August 18th, 2011 @ 4:33 pm

    Okay that’s freaking awesome. Almost as good as my ex saying “So ridiculous” which J turns into “so Dick-is-Us”

  5. Kristinayellow
    August 18th, 2011 @ 3:07 pm

    Last night, sat down to dinner. My lovely 2 1/2 yr old says “Oh Da—it”. um, what?? I look at DH and he laughs and says, “DD, I told you that we weren’t supposed to tell Momma I said that!” Now she keeps repeating it. Nice.

  6. Anonymous
    August 18th, 2011 @ 4:33 pm

    haha! At least you can hold that over HIS head. 🙂

  7. Lisa
    August 18th, 2011 @ 4:28 pm

    when my then-3 year old started watching Thomas the Train, he started repeatedly saying “I want p*ssy. Buy me p*ssy.”

    EXCUSE ME???

    It was about a week before I figured out he was talking about Percy, the really useful engine.

  8. Anonymous
    August 18th, 2011 @ 4:34 pm

    and THAT is why Thomas the Train will never be on in my house.

  9. Kinnison
    August 18th, 2011 @ 5:18 pm

    No way!!! Thomas the Train is GREAT!!!! My 3 year old loves him and it’s great for color naming and number recognition, too! Plus, the stories are cute. He has memorized “A Crack in the Track” and it’s darling 🙂 Now shunning Barney, I understand, but THOMAS!?!? No way!! 😉

  10. Tara
    August 19th, 2011 @ 2:16 am

    Oh my goodness, our son did that too! He was about 2 when he started saying it, and it took me a while to figure it out. So funny to find another kid who did the same thing!

  11. Anonymous
    August 19th, 2011 @ 2:53 pm

    I like to think it means he’s a creative genius… but I might be biased. 🙂

  12. Anonymous
    August 19th, 2011 @ 2:53 pm

    I like to think it means he’s a creative genius… but I might be biased. 🙂

  13. Kinnison
    August 18th, 2011 @ 5:15 pm

    LOL!!! That’s great! One of my son’s first words was F*CK…he was referring to a FORK. The first time I heard him say it was just after he dropped his fork over the highchair and said, “Awww! F*CK”…I almost passed out!!

  14. Kinnison
    August 18th, 2011 @ 5:19 pm

    (p.s…..LOVE the new comment format!)

  15. molly
    August 18th, 2011 @ 6:02 pm

    LOL! You just made me laugh out loud, which I totally needed. So thanks, girl 🙂

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