Embracing the Anger

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to rid myself of the anger I feel toward my Ex. I told myself it was wrong to be angry; told myself that this was the plan for my life and I just needed to embrace the changes and move on. I told myself that I was bigger […]

The Sweetness of Sunday

I made a pact with myself to attempt to limit J to the recommended two hours of television a day this weekend. On Saturday we frosted cookies with our fingers and painted/carved pumpkins. We played in the back yard and in the front yard, and in the living room. We built towers and colored and […]

There Are Still Boxes Left to Unpack

I spent the better part of my evening searching through boxes for a pair of shoes. It’s amazing to me how much of his stuff is still here; so many odds and ends, so many keepsakes and trinkets. There are boxes here that when I open them, he pours out of every corner like an […]

Choices

Yesterday was a long day. I got to work at 7:30 and worked straight through lunch. I have two clients in particular who keep me up at night and both of them got bad news yesterday. I do not like giving my clients bad news. Around 5:30 I left the office and drove straight to […]

Learning to Love the Fence

I’ve gotten in a bad habit lately of letting my dog out in the mornings to go to the bathroom. In and of itself, that sounds like a reasonable way to start his day, but the fact is, I don’t have a fenced in yard. Most days, my sweet older dog does his business in […]

Fall

I love Fall. I love the way the wind smells as it tickles the tree limbs. I love the crunch of sound that signals neighborhood children trudging up or down the roadway. I love the soft, slow roll of smoke that sweeps lazily out of the neighborhood chimneys. There’s something about October that just feels […]

What Love is About

I’ll admit, I usually (read: pretty much always) fall asleep with my son in my bed. He likes to “‘nuggle” to go to sleep and I like the sound of his breathing when I wake up in the middle of the night. Last night I had a few things I wanted to do, so I […]

My Most Important Job

Yesterday was a rough day for me. I won’t go into specifics, but the events of the day circled around my brain long after I went to sleep, bringing me interesting dreams and curious resolutions. Yesterday, someone told me that I’m not putting the right focus on my life. Someone told me that I am […]

Be Immortal

In the beginning, there was a dream. Just a small dream. A dream of making a difference, making a change, making a small place for myself in the world. I was small, barely school-aged, and when I closed my eyes to sleep I dreamed about changing the world. I dreamed about traveling to the farthest […]

Shingles

The last six months are catching up to me in a very real way. For six months, I have kept my head up, shouldered the grief, and pushed forward with creating a life for myself and my son. For six months, I have kept it reasonably together, kept it moving, and kept on keeping on. […]

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