It’s not Cola…

Posted on | April 30, 2012 | 18 Comments

J is taking a medication that upsets his stomach.

And I mean, it REALLY upsets his stomach.

Yesterday, he was curled up in my bed for nap time, happily reading his books and staying nice and quiet for the better part of an hour.  Finally, around 1:00, he asked if he could get up and I obliged, since it appeared obvious that he wasn’t going to nap.  We got ready for an afternoon birthday party, walked the dogs, and headed out for two hours of fun with several of his daycare classmates. 

When we got home, he climbed back in bed for a while because that’s the only place he’s allowed to have his pacifier.

Approximately thirty minutes later, I smelled poop. 

J was happily running around the house, playing with toys and singing happy little songs so I first checked for dog poop.  There was none I could see, though the puppy has the disgusting habit of hiding the evidence of her “accidents” in her stomach… so I had to look carefully.  Still no poop.  I snuck up behind J and there I saw it… poop… coming out the sides of his diaper and staining his pants. 

How many places had he been already? 

How many places had he sat down and stained?

I changed his diaper then went into crazy cleaning lady frenzy, spraying down the carpets, the sofa, the kitchen chairs… anywhere he might have paused long enough to, well, spread the nasty.

And then I went into my bedroom.

I could have cried.  It seriously looked like a Coke can had exploded in my bed.

Everything from the pillow to the comforter was stained and I just stood there staring at it for a moment, totally lost as to how to deal with this.

And then from behind me a small voice cheerfully piped up:

“Uh oh, Mommy.  Did you poo poo in your bed?”


18 Responses to “It’s not Cola…”

  1. Jennifer Williams
    April 30th, 2012 @ 9:14 am

    It is kind of hard to get mad after he says that. It least it didn’t make his tummy cramp and hurt.

  2. lawmomma
    April 30th, 2012 @ 1:54 pm

    True…. small silver linings. 🙂

  3. paralegalmom
    April 30th, 2012 @ 9:15 am

    oh ugh. what a nightmare. have to love toddler selective memory, though. 🙂

  4. lawmomma
    April 30th, 2012 @ 1:53 pm

    Right?? I wish I could think like that.

  5. MaconMom
    April 30th, 2012 @ 10:30 am

    My apologies; I totally cracked up at the ending. How can you even respond to that? J get to cleaning 🙂

    The rest is so not funny and absolutely defeating after a no nap day.

  6. lawmomma
    April 30th, 2012 @ 1:53 pm

    I know!!! I wanted to turn around and say “No YOU pooped on the bed, GAH!” but then I remembered arguing with a 2 year old is a fool’s game.

  7. Kate Sluiter
    April 30th, 2012 @ 10:59 am

    OH. MY. GOD.

    This post wins as the nasty poop post I have read in a while.

    I am giggling, but at the same time, crying a little for you and the clean up process.

  8. lawmomma
    April 30th, 2012 @ 1:52 pm

    Clean up involved pulling all sheets off the bed and throwing everything in the washing machine with bleach. And, of course, praying for the best. 😉 It wasn’t terrible, though all night I was convinced I smelled poop… like it had permeated the mattress.

  9. Heather Griffitts Clark
    April 30th, 2012 @ 11:10 am

    Poor mama!

  10. lawmomma
    April 30th, 2012 @ 1:52 pm

    Yeah… and poor puppy who got yelled at because I couldn’t yell at my kid. 🙁

  11. Kelster
    April 30th, 2012 @ 11:21 am

    Aww. I had to laugh at his question. But I do feel for you.

  12. lawmomma
    April 30th, 2012 @ 1:51 pm

    It was disgusting. And hilarious.

  13. Lynne DeVenny
    April 30th, 2012 @ 12:26 pm

    Smart kid, that one ;P

    Bless your heart, what a hot mess.

  14. lawmomma
    April 30th, 2012 @ 1:51 pm

    Smart-mouthed kid, anyway. 🙂

  15. Kinnison
    April 30th, 2012 @ 12:50 pm

    Bill Cosby was so right…Kids say the darndest things!!

  16. lawmomma
    April 30th, 2012 @ 1:51 pm

    HAHA!!! I used to love that show.

  17. Kristinayellow
    April 30th, 2012 @ 11:26 pm

    this is definitely a time to laugh so that you don’t cry. Ugh. And my daughter is on meds that are doing the same thing….it’s gotten to the point where she tells pretty much anyone “Yup, I’ve got the squirts.” Thanks for teaching her that Uncle J! Sigh. At least we only have a few more days to go on this med.

  18. ej_phillips
    May 1st, 2012 @ 8:29 pm

    Yes. There are certainly days of parenting a toddler when you just stand, like a deer in headlights, completely unaware of what to do. I mean, I don’t have a compartment in my brain to process massive amounts of human fecal matter in my home. Apparently, you don’t either.

  • Creative Commons License
    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at
  • Twitter

  • Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner


  • Grab my button for your blog!