Missing the Magic

Posted on | May 7, 2012 | 5 Comments

At 5:45 the puppy began to yelp and I slid out of bed and into my slippers, shuffling down the moonlit hallway to her kennel.  I clipped leashes on both dogs and stepped out into the half light of the morning, noticing that it had rained overnight.  The air had that curl of mist that only happens just after a long-awaited shower and the ground was still softly springy beneath my feet.

The sky was overcast, cloaked in gray but the moon stood out stark and yellow above the trees.  It had never looked so beautiful.

“I will have to show J when he wakes up,” I thought to myself, mesmerized.  I knew he would love it.

We made our way back inside, I fed the dogs and made coffee.  Around 6:00, J was up and I turned on Little Einsteins for him to watch as I made breakfast and got dressed.  At 6:20 I took the dogs out again and remembered the moon.

“I’ll just straighten my hair then I’ll bring him out to look,” I told myself, re-entering my world of “morning routine.”

I got ready for work, putting on my make up and straightening my hair, then pulled out clothes for J to wear.  I got him dressed and fed and poured a second cup of coffee.  By the time I sank down on the sofa to join him for morning television, it was 7:00.

With a start, I remembered the moon and slipped outside to see if it was still beautiful.

It was not.

The sun was high enough in the sky, the clouds thick enough, that it was no longer brilliantly orange in the sky.  It was a shadow of its former glory and my heart sank.  What had I done with that time I meant to share with my child?  What had I done with the morning I intended to welcome with his sweet hand in mine?  What was so important that it put the moon on hold?

As I stepped back into the bustle of my morning, the spring in my step was gone, the twinkle in my eye… faded. Time was slipping away, minute by minute, hour by hour.  My son was growing up, myself growing old.  I was losing the moments of magic in the monotony of mundane.  I missed a chance to bask in the moonlight with my child for the chore of basting my face with foundation.

I slowly made my way back to the sofa and slid next to J, the warmth of his toddler frame snug against me.  I leaned down and kissed the top of his curls, closing my eyes to the tidal wave of lost moments, lost time, lost memories never made.  And I swore to him then and there, silently still against the curve of his ear, that I would never miss another chance.  

I will never put aside the moon, never “just a minute” a butterfly, never “hold on” a bird’s nest or a crawling bug or a rainbow.  There is always time for make up and hair straighteners and cups of coffee.  There will always be time for wiping down counters and vacuuming up dog hair.

But the chance for chasing rainbows, howling at the moon, and witnessing miracles?  That chance is now.  Childhood is now.

And it is so fleeting that it can disappear in just an hour of morning sun.

Just like the brilliant, beautiful, burned in my memory moon.


5 Responses to “Missing the Magic”

  1. Danielle Burris
    May 7th, 2012 @ 10:56 am

    I am a blubbering mess after reading this!! Awesome and eye-opening post! I have twin girls who are 3 and so often I am guilty of the same thing…..”missing the magic”. They are only little once, so these moments are precious and pass by in the blink of an eye!

  2. lawmomma
    May 7th, 2012 @ 1:26 pm

    I was so heartbroken. I can’t believe all that stupid stuff I did when I could have been seeing his awe as he stared at that moon.

  3. Julia
    May 7th, 2012 @ 2:53 pm

    Beautiful. I truly love this reminder to be present in these moments with our little ones, even when there are so many more things on our minds. You are so right, so many of these things can wait; but the moon and these other little pieces of magic, can not.

  4. Noelle HettlingerTil
    May 8th, 2012 @ 9:17 am

    What a great reminder about the “magic”! We all get caught up in the daily grind and our to-do lists… It’s easy to miss the little things that are really the big things in retrospect. I’ll make that vow to my little one, too. 🙂

  5. Shelly
    June 7th, 2012 @ 11:09 am

    “But the chance for chasing rainbows, howling at the moon, and witnessing miracles? That chance is now. Childhood is now”

    I know it’s been a month since you posted this, but it really hit home for me. I actually wrote “Childhood is now!” on a yellow sticky & put it on my bedroom mirror. Last night my 2 yr old wanted to play outside after work, when I just wanted to lay in bed & relax. That sticky caught my eye, and we headed outside. We spent a great 30 min blowing bubbles & chasing 2 bunnies in our yard, on a beautiful late spring evening. It was awesome! Thanks for the inspiration!

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at http://www.law-momma.com.
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