Second Dates and Butterflies

Posted on | June 12, 2012 | 22 Comments

For my next trick, I will attempt the death defying “Having a guy over without your child knowing about it.” 

It was second date time and though we batted around the idea of going out, when you “go out” as a single mom, it ends up costing everyone.  Sure he pays for the drinks and the meal, but you’re shelling out $40 for someone to sit at your house and watch your television while your child sleeps.  So ultimately I gave him a choice… we could go out and I could hire a sitter, or he could give me carte blanche to run a full criminal background and public record search on him and, assuming all was clean, he could come over and watch a movie after J went to sleep.

He chose full criminal background… which probably tells you a little bit about the kind of guy this is.

Yesterday morning, like the good little lawyer I am, I delegated the “chore” of researching my date to my law clerks.  They diligently searched and searched and by mid-morning presented me with a manilla folder full of information, neatly pared down to a one page memo of highlights: divorced, speeding ticket in 1998, family members’ names, current address.  Nothing too alarming. 

So I texted and gave him the green light to come over once J was in bed.  We’d had a rough Sunday and no naps all weekend so I figured bed time would be a breeze and by 7:30 J would be passed out. 

Never assume CRAP when it comes to toddlers.

At 7:15, I was still singing round after round of “Wheels on the Bus” which is, inexplicably, J’s favorite “lullaby.”  At 7:20, I was wondering if he somehow knew I had plans and was punishing me.  At 7:45 when my date arrived, J was FINALLY asleep.  And in what can only be called a miracle, he never woke up while the date was in the house.

As for the part you’re all interested in… that part went well.  We started a movie and cracked open a bottle of wine.  We paused the movie, finished the wine, and talked until almost midnight.  HE was a perfect gentleman… hands off, no funny business.

The same could not be said for me.

And that is all I have to say about that except that don’t worry, mom, my clothes stayed on.  All of them.


22 Responses to “Second Dates and Butterflies”

  1. Kerri Lentz
    June 12th, 2012 @ 9:23 am

    I love hearing about things going well for you. 🙂 My son also went through a phase around age 2 where The Wheels on the Bus was his favorite lullaby! I used to change it up after the standard driver/horn/wipers/babies/parents…turns out our bus was filled animals. E.g., the cows on the bus go moo moo moo, the tigers on the bus go ROAR, etc. 🙂

  2. lawmomma
    June 12th, 2012 @ 5:04 pm

    Omigosh, I’m so going to have to try that!!!! I get so tired of the same old crap.

  3. J Anja288
    June 12th, 2012 @ 10:23 am

    I’m famous. I made the blog. <3

  4. lawmomma
    June 12th, 2012 @ 5:03 pm

    Boom. 🙂

  5. Abigail Gorton
    June 12th, 2012 @ 9:51 pm

    I hope you’re the law clerk and not the date!

  6. pinkflipflops44
    June 12th, 2012 @ 10:42 am

    haha 1) i love how you did a background check on him 2) kids totally know.

  7. lawmomma
    June 12th, 2012 @ 5:03 pm

    They totally do. They’re like little mind readers.

  8. Jackie Henson
    June 12th, 2012 @ 11:26 am

    oh how perceptive our little ones are 😛 way to go LM for getting yourself out there & having some fun 🙂 (also good idea on the whole criminal background check thing, never thought of that lol)

  9. lawmomma
    June 12th, 2012 @ 5:03 pm

    It was fun… and it’s over with that one, but I’m sure there will be others!

  10. Roxanne Piskel
    June 12th, 2012 @ 11:35 am

    This makes me so happy.

    And I love that you ran a background check on him. Oh if we could all take advantage of that. 🙂

  11. lawmomma
    June 12th, 2012 @ 5:03 pm

    LOL! I know… I can’t believe he actually agreed to that. Of course, that could have also played a large role in his decision to state we should just be friends today. haha

  12. Roxanne Piskel
    June 12th, 2012 @ 5:10 pm

    I think dating a single parent takes certain types of person. I actually admire him for speaking up now, before too many feelings got involved. Sometimes you don’t even know how you feel about a potential date having a child until you have to sneak in the house for a movie date while the kiddo is snoring away in the next room. 🙂

  13. Jana A (@jana0926)
    June 12th, 2012 @ 1:13 pm

    Love it! All of it!!

  14. lawmomma
    June 12th, 2012 @ 5:02 pm


  15. Merrill Boykin
    June 12th, 2012 @ 1:16 pm

    Love the background check! The first time my fiance came over to my house…I was a nervous wreck because of my daughter! Glad you are having fun!

  16. lawmomma
    June 12th, 2012 @ 5:02 pm

    It really is hard to deal with dating as a single mom, isn’t it!?! Where do you draw the line??

  17. Lola M.
    June 12th, 2012 @ 4:01 pm

    Does he have a brother?!

  18. lawmomma
    June 12th, 2012 @ 5:02 pm

    Ha! He’s still available… so maybe just go for him? I can send you his profile. 🙂

  19. Lola M.
    June 14th, 2012 @ 2:46 am

    … Well, considering he doesn’t prefer kiddos probably not, but thanks! 🙂

    … Personally, I tend to date men who have some marriage wear and tear. They’re like a good pair of well worn, slightly stretchy Levi jeans?

    They are also more likely to understand where you are coming from if J throws up on you 39 minutes before the date starts?

  20. Rachel
    June 12th, 2012 @ 6:15 pm

    Yes, children ALWAYS know when you have plans!!

    Glad to hear it went well! Maybe I should look into this online dating stuff…

  21. Eli Pacheco
    June 23rd, 2012 @ 11:13 am

    We soccer coaches have background checks every season, so we’re all readily dateable – aside from the stained shirts, scruffy chins and messy cars.

    I like the comment about looking for a guy with a little marriage wear on him – to me, a woman is exponentially more attractive if she carries the mom card. It’s not the worn-out aspect, like we marriage-weathered fellows, but something noble – and hot, really – about a woman who has or is raising kids.

    Call me crazy …

  22. Eli@coachdaddyblog.wordpress
    June 23rd, 2012 @ 11:16 am

    We soccer coaches come with seasonal background checks – so we are completely date-able. Aside from the scruffy chins, baggy shorts and misuse of hair product.

    Hard to imagine a kid being a detriment to a woman. Maybe I’m crazy, but a girl I’d like becomes exponentially more attractive when I find out she’s a mom.

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