There’s Vomit in My Hair…

Posted on | September 21, 2012 | 19 Comments

Today I’m home sick with a sick kid.  So far he’s thrown up in my hair, peed on the floor, kicked me just beside my knee cap, broken the cabinet in the kitchen, and yelled the word “NO” so many times that I’m still hearing it reverberating around the room.  On top of his irritable illness, I’m the world’s worst mom when I’m sick and I’m bordering on really sick. And also PMSing.  I have zero patience and in an effort to not punch a wall, I tend to raise my voice A LOT.  Which results in my sensitive son curling up in a ball on the floor and saying “You hurt my feelings when you snapped at me” which then makes me feel like a great big pile of cow dung.

But honestly… he broke a cabinet. A CABINET.  And I’m not exactly Miss Fix It.

And he peed on the floor… not just in one spot… but in a running trail down the hall to where I was putting away clothes, just to tell me that he did, in fact, pee in his pants.

How do you guys do it? On the days when you want to lock yourself in your bedroom and scream until you lose your voice?  How do you parent through wanting to just say Eff It and throw Cheerios on the floor and hope your child remembers where the potty is? Because I’m not doing this correctly, of that I’m sure.  He’s dumped out all the play doh, he’s hit golf balls at my shins, and his response to every question I ask him is “I DON’T KNOW I WANT YOU TO DO IT” even when those words don’t make the slightest bit of sense.

This is when a Super Nanny would be useful.  Or strong, inject-able sleeping drugs. For both of us .



19 Responses to “There’s Vomit in My Hair…”

  1. Chunky Mama
    September 21st, 2012 @ 1:05 pm

    My secret is to lock myself in my room (or bathroom) with music or TV for 15 minutes, completely ignore my children, and LET them destroy the house. If I’m in a calm place, I can handle the disasters. Also, TV. On the days I want to strangle them, there is a WHOLE LOT of TV keeping us all safe & sane.

  2. lawmomma
    September 21st, 2012 @ 1:24 pm

    Ha. Yes… we’re about to have enforced family nap time.

  3. ga mom
    September 21st, 2012 @ 1:15 pm

    I am sure you are doing the best that you can, but you need to take control, even if it means being “mean mom”. Sick or not, breaking cabinets and throwing tantrums is unacceptable. His urinating in the floor is to get a rise out of you. He is in control and he knows it. You may want to make some hard choices. Saw his bedroom door in half so its a dutch door, childproof his room, and when he can’t behave, put him in there. Google John Rosemond–he’s a parenting advice guy. When you threaten him (1-2-3, I’m going to take away your movie/toy/trip to the store) DO IT, even if it means you staying there with him being bored. If he wets, make him clean it up. I read online last night about a 5 year old who still poops on himself and the Pre-K where he is won’t let him come back. I’m sure you don’t want that in your future. If you don’t get a handle on him now, what will you do when he’s 10? Perhaps instead of blogging about this in real time, you may need to step back from cyberspace and telling us how bad it sucks and go be his mother. I challenge you to go on a 2 week fast from posting. He MAY not want his every move catalogued for eternity…but he’s a child and has no say. I am from GA, a mom, and hubs is a lawyer, so I enjoy your site. But he needs all of you right now.

  4. lawmomma
    September 21st, 2012 @ 1:24 pm

    He’s three, not five. And he’s only been potty trained for about a month. I don’t think having an accident is reason to punish him. The cabinet was accidental… he ran into it and it was teetering by a very thin string.

    All that to say… Challenge not accepted. 🙂 My son is sweet and kind and though we have our moments… I’m not concerned that he’s becoming a holy terror. Not just yet. He’s just sick and tired, just like me.

  5. ga mom
    September 21st, 2012 @ 1:48 pm

    Of course you shouldn’t punish him for the accident, but you could have him help you clean up regardless. I was noticing from a few days ago you wrote,” Reason was not his friend. Breakfast was not his friend. I was most definitely NOT his friend. Nothing, in fact, was even in the realm of friendly. ” I guess I just want to convey to you that you don’t have to be the “good guy” all of the time–you’ll have many more days where he won’t be “friendly”, and its up to you as mom to stay strong and not give in.
    Hopefully when you both feel better, he will be back to his old self.

  6. Law Momma
    September 21st, 2012 @ 2:14 pm

    oh I hope so! Though I fear he’s developing his mother’s temper…

  7. Jennifer
    September 22nd, 2012 @ 2:22 pm

    You are extremely rude. How he is acting at 3 while sick is no indication of how he will act at 10 and certainly not a reason to question someone’s mothering skills (while she is sick too, I might add). I sure hope you felt better after you typed all of that crap. Pat yourself on the back (if your purpose was to insult rather than help).

  8. Robbie K
    September 21st, 2012 @ 1:34 pm

    I take a time out for myself and I try to act exactly opposite of how I feel when dealing with child. It I want to scream and stomp and completely lose it I channel my inner sane momma and use the sweet, calm voice, redirect and try to adjust expectations b/c when you’re sick kid you lose your coping skills.

  9. Law Momma
    September 21st, 2012 @ 2:15 pm

    He’s sleeping now. Thankfully. Hopefully all will look better post nap

  10. Jo
    September 21st, 2012 @ 1:47 pm

    Honestly, that’s me. I do not parent well when sick; I’m also single-momma to a 3yr old. It is the day when I just give up trying to parent because I have yelled, I have lost control, I have spent the day putting him in more time-outs than his sick-self truly deserved.
    All of which I regretted much more than having Dora (and Caillou and Spiderman, for that matter) babysit for a while.
    So now my vote is definitely laziness and TV.

    And take a bath with him. Last time we both were home sick, we took like 4 baths (because that’s his favorite thing to do) and I needed a little, um, clean-up as well, you know? Sick Feels icky in a lot of ways. A 20 minute bath here and there definitely breaks up the day.

    Best of luck to you!

  11. Law Momma
    September 21st, 2012 @ 2:15 pm

    oooh good idea!!!

  12. paralegalmom
    September 21st, 2012 @ 1:49 pm

    Ugh. Days like this stink. Potty accidents are not fun on a good day, but when mom is sick and the last thing you want to do is clean pee up off the floor, they’re extra annoying.

    If I’m sick like that, I usually end up letting B watch way more movies than I normally would, set snacks and juice out, and try to supervise the chaos from the couch.

    Some days, you just have to try and make sure you’re all alive at the end. Screw parenting awards.

  13. Law Momma
    September 21st, 2012 @ 2:16 pm

    Yeah. There’s been a lot of TV. A lot.

  14. sara
    September 21st, 2012 @ 2:13 pm

    I have definitely had days like that! I think the key is just to survive. 🙂 What helps us is going for walks just to get outside…even a drive might help. Any change of scenery. Or think of something, anything different for him to do (tent in the living room, bath with food coloring, etc.). Here’s a list I came across on Pinterest, too.

  15. Law Momma
    September 21st, 2012 @ 2:16 pm


  16. Delia
    September 21st, 2012 @ 4:58 pm

    When DS is sick I go for a Pull-Up. It won’t cause a real set back and we all feel better. Go to the park or just the back yard. Getting outside helps us – though you being sick also doesn’t make it easy. Days like that usually have no rules – so try stuff that is usually off limits. Painting, shaving cream in the tub, iPad games.

  17. kristinayellow
    September 22nd, 2012 @ 12:14 am

    I swear sick preschoolers and toddlers are more like possessed devil spawn or something. And when you are sick too it’s just horrific. I’m on “bedrest”, 8 month preggo with 2 chronic illness, and my sweet, normally adorable preschooler has been obviously abducted by aliens and replaced with a psycho child. Not only did we have fits getting her new rainboots that she has desperately wanted but we also had a meltdown at the grocery store because I was trying to spray neosporin on her knee after she scraped it. Let’s just say tears have been shed by all-and my heart dropped when she told me she wasn’t my friend anymore because I wasn’t listening to her words and that I would be sorry. Sigh. I am really really trying to think of those times when I have gotten a sweet unexpected hug or I love you from her–and unashamedly counting down the hours until bedtime. I hope tomorrow is better for you. HUGS

  18. Kate Fitzpatrick
    September 22nd, 2012 @ 4:21 pm

    I don’t have any big parenting insights..I can just tell you what’s sort of worked my sick boys. Doing random projects that are new and different….1)I put a bunch of pasta and dried beans and a bunch of different containers and he “cooked” dinner for us and made instruements and sorted for 2 hours. And when it was done just swept up the kitchen floor and washed all the containers 2) paper chains- construction paper and tape you would have thought Lighting McQueen showed up and was taking him on joy rides. 3). And you need to a good laugh…call up your funniest friend watch a hilarious movie or tv show. You need to break..I watched Bridesmaids 3 nights in a row when my kiddos had the stomach flu.

  19. Tara Esquivel
    September 23rd, 2012 @ 4:52 pm

    Little Man had a long period of time when I was single momming it where he had weekly vomiting episodes in the middle of the night. After awhile I got so exhausted of changing sheets during sick times that I made him a “bed” in the bathtub using beach towels, old pillows, and my older towels that didn’t matter much anymore. Easy cleanup if the vomiting is a night-long event. Your little guy might be too old for that idea but I’m throwing it out there just in case 😉

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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