It’s Not Easy Being Three

Posted on | October 11, 2012 | 11 Comments

You know that sound that Jim Carrey makes in Dumb and Dumber? The one that’s called the most annoying sound in the world?

THAT is what my child sounds like these days. Almost constantly.

Every “word” out of his mouth is drawn out into a four syllabled whine that starts in the lower octaves, races up to the highest range that a human can process without shattering an eardrum, and then sinks back down to a reasonable level.  To call this simply “whining” would be like calling a marathon simply a jog.  This? this is an art form in the same way that really crappy mind numbing contemporary art where a toilet is on display with shit in it is an art form.  And the worst part is that it’s causing me to seriously dislike my child.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the hell out of him.  But these days I just don’t LIKE him all that much when he’s awake.  When he’s not whining, he’s playing his favorite game of “I’m not going to tell you what I want you to do,  I just want you to do it.” And it applies to everything. He’ll ask to watch a TV show and I’ll say “which one?” and it’s like his head explodes with choices so he just lies down on the sofa and cries “I’m not gonna tell you which one, I just want you to turn one on!” When I turn on a show, it’s never the right one.  Just like it’s never the right piece of cheese, never the right dinner, never the right shirt, and never the right pair of pants.

I’m clearly getting everything wrong.  I am clearly making everything more dramatic in his world.  Every little thing is now the absolute be all end all of, well, everything.  I am constantly on edge. I feel like I’m living in the straw house with my toddler outside huffing and puffing and any minute the house is going to just all blow down.

Parenting a toddler is so exhausting.

But just when I think I can’t possibly take any more, I woke up in this morning to little arms draped around your neck and a little voice whispering in your ear “The sun is up, Mommy, and I love you soooooo much.”

And suddenly I’m reminded that, yeah, I can make it through this.  Because it probably is pretty freaking hard being three. (Though still not as hard as PARENTING three…)


11 Responses to “It’s Not Easy Being Three”

  1. Delia
    October 11th, 2012 @ 12:40 pm

    I have to get down on C’s level, put my hands around his face and slowly say “No. More. Whining.” We try to have no-whining days – anything asked in a whine voice is ignored or given a simple “I can’t understand, it is a no-whining day.” Doesn’t always work, but it does help both of us from blowing our tops.

  2. Law Momma
    October 11th, 2012 @ 12:43 pm

    Yeah. I do the whole “I don’t understand you when you whine” thing but it’s got a 50/50 chance of causing MORE whining. I’m so ready for four.

  3. Joanna
    October 11th, 2012 @ 12:50 pm

    True Story. The other night I started saying everything I wanted her to do in a whining voice like she does to us. After a while she said “mommy, you are hurting my ears, I don’t like that.”

    EXACTLY. So I said that’s how mommy & daddy feel. She looked half confused and half like she got it.

    The whining hasn’t stopped but when I ask her if she knows why I’m upset with her now she does say “because I’m whining.” So a start?

  4. Law Momma
    October 11th, 2012 @ 1:01 pm

    BAHAHAHA I love that. I may try it.

  5. Joanna
    October 11th, 2012 @ 12:49 pm

    I read somewhere recently that said (& I’m paraphrasing) that our toddlers/preschoolers/whateverthehecktheyareat3 are not trying to manipulate us, they aren’t doing anything on purpose- they are just learning their world.

    BULLSHIT. My kid is smart. She knows how to manipulate me or her dad and she knows the right buttons to push. Is she ALWAYS doing it to manipulate us? Of course not.

    It does have to be confusing to know that some days she asks for something and the answer is yes, other days it’s no. Sometimes when she demands for something and we tell her that she can’t just say “I want (fill in the blank)” and get it, that she needs to remember how to use her words nicely and ask and then when she does and says “May I please have (that same thing)” in the sweetest voice imaginable that the answer isn’t always going to be yes just because she asked the right way.

    Also, sometimes I burst into tears for no reason too kid… so I get it- the world is overwhelming.

    But yeah, parenting them? Hard, really hard.

  6. Law Momma
    October 11th, 2012 @ 1:02 pm

    Yeah… I read that article, too. I agreed with it until it tried to apply it to pre-school. My kid KNOWS how to manipulate and he intends to be as sweet as he can be to get what he wants. When that fails, he throws a fit.

    It’s so freaking tiring. I feel like I’m always a step behind wherever he is on the crazy scale.

  7. Baby Mama
    October 11th, 2012 @ 3:31 pm

    I so feel you. I’ve taken to calling my daughter “Three” instead of her name. Because I need constant reminders that this is not really her. She is not really this terrible, she is just Three.

  8. Law Momma
    October 11th, 2012 @ 3:40 pm

    LOL! I love it. That’s way nicer than what I call my son in my head… 😉

  9. michelle
    October 12th, 2012 @ 11:38 am

    laughing so hard. this is my life. “Turn on Thomas!” “This one?” ” yes, That one.” I turn it on ‘NOT THAT ONE! THAT ONE!”

  10. Lola M.
    October 12th, 2012 @ 1:12 pm

    OMg!!! He’s such a GUY! love the toilet picture!

  11. Noelle
    October 12th, 2012 @ 3:35 pm

    So. exhausting. The same is happening in our house. I thought 3 was supposed to be better than 2 and I only had a few more months of this constant screaming, annoying whining, ear-splitting tantrum throwing, constant demanding, constant negotiating left! Say it ain’t so!

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