Unmasking SuperMom

Posted on | December 10, 2012 | 26 Comments

On my birthday (which was Friday, in case you missed the sound of oldness), I got several “happy birthday’s” on Facebook, which, let’s face it… is the best part of Facebook.  Anyhow, two of those messages called me “supermom” and I sort of grinned about it and patted myself on the back and then moved on.  Until I moved back and looked at them again.

And I realized that I’ve done exactly what I didn’t want to do here in this space… I’ve made myself into someone a little too perfect… a little too shiny and pressed.  That’s some serious bullshit, too, because I’m NOT perfect.  I’m no where NEAR perfect.  If there were lines of perfect parents, I’d be so far towards the back that I’d have to strain just to see the sign that tells you how long your wait will be before you get on the ride… or off, as the case may be.  I know that I come on here and talk a lot about how much I love my kid.  I talk about how he drives me crazy but how I still love him and how I can’t stand the thought of missing any of the small moments: the sweetness… the very child-ness of him.  All of that is true.  Every bit of that is true.  I love the hell out of my kid.

But just like any other parent, I have moments when I look at him and think “WOULD YOU JUST GO AWAY FOR A WHILE SO I CAN REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU?!?!”

Half the time, to be honest, I find myself wondering why I’m doing half the stuff I’m doing! This weekend I decided we needed to make cookies because, dammit, it’s Christmas and Christmas means cookies.  So I dutifully made sugar cookie dough and sugar cooking frosting and let J help roll out the cookies and cut them into shapes.  Sounds festive right?

Wrong.  He didn’t roll them right and he kept ripping the cookies up before they even made it to the baking sheet.  97.5% of the experience involved me gritting my teeth and saying “Just. let. me. do. it.” or at a minimum, thinking “THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN, DAMMIT!”    And that sort of sums up my parenting skill set…. a whole lot of teeth gritting and wondering why shit looks better in the movies, or on other people’s blogs or Facebook feeds.  I’m usually so frustrated with J by the end of any “fun” activity, that I’m two steps away from opening the front door, shoving him out, and hoping to God that those mythical gypsies leave decent money for him.  I lost my temper with J so much this weekend that I swear he cringed every time my mouth opened for a good hour on Saturday afternoon…. and that embarrasses me. Because when I read other blogs or posts or emails… no one else is having those moments.  No one else is talking about how they said the wrong thing in the wrong tone of voice and it made their sweet child crumple into a pile on the floor and sob until he broke. my. damn. heart.

But that’s the Gospel truth, y’all.  I’m not a perfect parent.  I’m no where close.  I’m not a super mom… not any more than any of you.  I do the best I can, but it’s not always right or warm and fuzzy.  It never feels warm and fuzzy to write that I thought about locking my child in his room for thirty minutes just so I could enjoy quiet, so I don’t do it.  It never feels “right” to say that I’ve taken to locking the door when I take a poop because otherwise I’m constantly screaming “MOMMY NEEDS PRIVACY” while he stands there and asks me for more cheese, or to change the channel on the television, or to tell him why there are no stars in the day time sky… so I leave that out.

Let me apologize for whitewashing this blog on occasion… it’s more fun to rose-color the glasses and try to find the moments of perfect in the midst of all the madness.  But the truth of the matter is, I’m just as likely to snap at my kid as I am to snuggle him.  We have our moments of pure, unadulterated, horror… just like the rest of you.  The only thing “super” about me is that I bought myself a cape and put my name on it.

Because, you know, everyone gets to pretend to be something else… at least every now and then.


26 Responses to “Unmasking SuperMom”

  1. shellthings
    December 10th, 2012 @ 9:41 am

    I love your honesty. I try to remember when I do see those moms who seem to have it all together- whether it’s on their blog or someone I’m talking to at school drop off- that I’m only seeing a glimpse and that none of us really has it ALL together.

  2. Law Momma
    December 10th, 2012 @ 9:50 am

    It’s hard to be honest… you start checking over your shoulder for child protective services… ha! (KIDDING! My son is very safe! Swear!)

  3. shellthings
    December 10th, 2012 @ 9:53 am

    LMAO! So true. There are times I blog something and then think OMG, what if someone thinks I’m a mess of a mom all the time? B/c I’m only a mess about half the time. 😉

  4. Law Momma
    December 10th, 2012 @ 10:01 am

    exactly!!! It’s like you write the truth then you go back and think “Wait… I can’t say that without people mailing me a lot of wire hangers…”

  5. Mae (Life's Candy)
    December 10th, 2012 @ 10:40 am

    To be honest, perfect parents creep me out, because they shouldn’t exist. Kids are hard. Parenting is hard. Not every moment is thrilling or fun. Some of it’s annoying. Conflict is life .

    Also as regards the cookie thing? I’m waiting until five or six before seriously attempting that again. Right now she’s just not got the dexterity to really DO cookies, and it’s not fun for either of us. We do make cookies sometimes but of the drop variety, not the rolling/cutting/refrigerated dough variety.

  6. Law Momma
    December 10th, 2012 @ 11:59 am

    Smart. The chocolate chip ones were WAY easier. Lesson learned.

  7. TarynB
    December 17th, 2012 @ 1:53 pm

    Drop ones are easy. So are using sugar cookie dough, dying half of it red, and letting him twist them into Candy cane cookies. Luke’s always look like hell, but they taste the same and he loves helping. I’ve let him help with cutout cookies, but i do all the baking, then he helps me decorate. His taste the best bc they have about a TON of sprinkles on each one!! 🙂

  8. Krista Myers Sponsky
    December 10th, 2012 @ 10:59 am

    Nope. You’re wrong. We don’t have it all together. Lately Chessa has taken to telling me to “talk nicely to her.” when I raise my voice because FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. I”VE TOLD YOU 100 TIMES DO NOT HOLD YOUR CEREAL BOWL WITH YOUR TEETH. And she says it with the broken face of a little girl whose heart I just shattered and I feel like a rotten piece of shit. Or she knows that when she says that I cave and hug her. I can’t decide if she’s playing me or not.

  9. Law Momma
    December 10th, 2012 @ 11:59 am

    None of us do, do we? At least we’re all in good company. 😉

  10. Sandy Little-Herring
    December 10th, 2012 @ 11:23 am

    I promise we all do it. Everyone does it. You are SuperMom, and you are SuperK. If it weren’t for you, my child would not have decorated any Christmas cookies this weekend or have done so many fun things over the past year!
    BTW, after timeout for using many naughty words this morning, Monkey was saying his apologies, and he said he needed to tell Miss Karen he was sorry for naughty words. LOL
    Besides, you’re my “what would K do in this situation” with Monkey! Yes, I channel your ability to deal with so many fun toddler situations.

    Side note: Who would ever try to roll and cut cookies out with a three year old? decorate maybe,,,roll and cut?! You are very brave. Let’s try again next year.. 😉

  11. Law Momma
    December 10th, 2012 @ 11:58 am

    Oh my. You’re in for it if I’m your WWKD!!

  12. KLZ
    December 10th, 2012 @ 11:38 am

    This is why we don’t do paintings.

  13. Law Momma
    December 10th, 2012 @ 11:58 am

    I love you.

  14. dal
    December 10th, 2012 @ 11:49 am

    I think everyone feels that way at times, but the fact that you 1) care so much and 2) you still attempt to conquer theses incredible feats with J makes you an incredible mom.

  15. Law Momma
    December 10th, 2012 @ 11:58 am

    Ha! I’ll take that compliment and make it work for me. Though I’m still not sure it totally applies.

  16. Delia
    December 10th, 2012 @ 12:10 pm

    Honestly, I think any mom can be called a SuperMom. Single moms, married moms, it doesn’t matter. What we do can’t be done by anyone else. To me, even on a very bad day when we feel like we’ve done nothing but fail, we get to be SuperMom. Because tomorrow, we get another chance to do it all right.

    Plus, in the eyes of our kids (at least until they’re 14), we rock. So that’s all that matters.

  17. Law Momma
    December 10th, 2012 @ 2:10 pm

    That’s so true… we are all pretty freaking amazing. Even when we suck. 😉

  18. Lynne DeVenny
    December 10th, 2012 @ 1:16 pm

    You’re a real live mommy, sweetie, and a good one. So I’ll just ‘fess up and say, with my second round of a kid to raise, plus several four-leggeds, I don’t think I’ve been alone in the bathroom at home for decades. Sometimes when I try to shut the door, paws poke through the bottom, and people want school notes written, which I’m tempted to write on toilet paper.

    Ah, overnight business trips are the BEST. I don’t even turn on the TV in the room. So much….peace. And I’m counting down to freshman dorm move-in, even as much as I’d lay down my life for my own kid.

  19. Law Momma
    December 10th, 2012 @ 2:10 pm

    Real and live that is true! 🙂 And yes… I sort of love overnight business trips!!!

  20. Melanie
    December 10th, 2012 @ 2:14 pm

    I LOVE this. So honest…so exactly what ALL of us moms feel at times…We had a Christmas party Saturday, which was awesome and a great day all around, playing with the new toy Santa gave him at party and having fun all evening. Then there was Sunday. Sunday, I just wanted half hour alone to finish some online holiday shopping…we tried napping,,,SIX times. No-go. He wanted more and more candy from the party and wouldn’t eat anything else. Nope to the candy…so we had a tired boy laying on the floor, kicking, screaming sobbing for almost 20 minutes. And I was “mean”…just one of those afternoons. Finally, I plopped him in front of the TV for a two-hour Cars movie so I could get my shopping done and my MAJOR frustration under control. And, you know what? We ARE supermoms – because even though we all have those moments, we love our kids to the moon and back and we try to do those cool, fun activities, even though they drive us absolutely batty…and we walk away when we need to…It’s just all a part of being a “supermom.” So that was a really long-winded response, lol, but bottom line is that I LOVE your post, lady 🙂

  21. Law Momma
    December 10th, 2012 @ 3:04 pm

    Oh I like that school of thought. We’re supermoms simply because we TRY to do things with our kids! What a great way of looking at it!!

  22. Jennifer Williams
    December 10th, 2012 @ 3:26 pm

    That sound you just heard? The rest of us nodding. (Does that even make a sound? Ask your three year old. While he’s pooping.) I made cookies with my kids this weekend too, and I think this is the first time in SEVEN years of parenting that I did not lose my cool and just let them do whatever. I can’t promise the same thing will happen next year. My son has taken to asking, “momma are you fwustated?” because I tell him I am so often. Then I sit and think, “how did I get to be the mom that her kids always think she is mad or frustrated?” I don’t like that about me.

  23. Law Momma
    December 10th, 2012 @ 4:23 pm

    J says “I don’t like it when you snap at me.”

    And tiny unicorn babies die every. time. he says it.

  24. Jenna Sindle
    December 10th, 2012 @ 5:36 pm

    Everybody else with a child is having those moments! When I had postpartum depression I believed that everyone else was the perfect parent – until one of my oldest and most deeply competent friends took me aside and told me about the bad mothers club! For the record mine threw up on me on Saturday at a birthday party, after pitching a fit at the party. I wish more parents would be honest and not in a bumbling, aw shucks kind of way…

  25. Law Momma
    December 11th, 2012 @ 10:37 am

    Yes. Like purely honest. About the stupid things that suck SO bad about being a parent. Especially how bad it sucks to have to be the adult when you really just want to give in because it’s easier but no one wants to raise Veruca Salt.

    Oh. Tangent. Sorry. 😉

  26. Julia Hembree
    December 12th, 2012 @ 12:19 pm

    Happy Birthday! I much prefer blogs with real live mommies to the ones that pretend they are perfect, because my goodness this parenting thing is hard and NO ONE can rock it all the time. And this parenting a three year old thing? Is so very very hard.

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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