I Fart in Your General Direction

Posted on | February 4, 2015 | 2 Comments

My kid likes the word “butt.”

No, correction… my kid likes any word associated with the word “butt”, any word that rhymes with the word butt, and any word that could be substituted with the word “butt.” For example, our conversations often go like this:

Me: “J, go get your clothes on.”

J: “You go get your butt on.”

Or like this:

Me: “It’s time for school, kiddo.”

J: “It’s time for BUTT.”

I swear to you, I did not realize how many things could be made into “butt” jokes by a five year old. If he’s feeling down, all I have to do is make a fart noise and he’s all smiles and giggles… it’s like a wonder drug. Only it’s a sound, obviously. I have to admit, I find farts a little funny myself, but butts? I don’t know.

Maybe it’s a girl thing. Maybe it’s a grown up thing. Maybe… oh hell, I don’t know. All I know is that right now in my house EVERYTHING is “butt.” My kid thinks that slapping his butt is funny. He thinks the fact that our dog sniffs other dog’s butts is funny. He thinks the fact that poop actually comes out of a butt is the. funniest. thing. ever.

Honestly, I just don’t know how to react. Because I think it’s pretty harmless fun for him, you know? But every so often, I hear from him that he’s getting time out at school for saying “Potty Words.” I get it, I do. I mean, he’s in class with 3-6 year olds and you don’t want the six year olds to teach bad habits to the three year olds… but still. Time out? For saying “butt”? Should I encourage “hiney”? Should we switch to  calling everything “private”?

I just don’t think so. I encourage J to call his body parts by their names. All his body parts. Because I never want him to be embarrassed to tell me that something hurts or that, God forbid, someone touched him somewhere that he didn’t want to be touched.  I think it’s pretty natural for boys to want to say whatever it is that their parents don’t want them to say. Or maybe for KIDS to do that. And I think it will pass, somewhat. I mean, I know a lot of adults who think “Butt” is funny… just maybe not as funny as my kid thinks it is.

So for now, our mornings are being spent getting out all the potty words. It’s actually pretty hilarious and it takes a strong will not to die laughing. J will run around the house yelling “butt, butt, poop, butt, butty butt butt,” and anything else he can think of. Then he just makes fart noises until he’s out of breath. It’s epic.

Maybe I’m a bad to let him say words at home he can’t say at school… I don’t know. All I know is that “getting out the potty words” has become the most amusing part of my day and…  I’ve actually started looking forward to all the “butt” jokes.


2 Responses to “I Fart in Your General Direction”

  1. Alecia
    February 4th, 2015 @ 9:32 am

    It’s a boy thing. It never ends at my house.

  2. Law Momma
    February 4th, 2015 @ 10:23 am

    It’s like one long Will Ferrell movie at my house!!!

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at http://www.law-momma.com.
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