Parenting Two

Posted on | June 6, 2017 | 5 Comments

Having two kids is no joke.

I feel like my life has devolved into one of those “check a box” notes with ever changing language.

“What do you want to succeed at today? Parenting a baby or Parenting a 7 year old?”

“Which job will you be good at today? Lawyering or mothering?”

I can’t do all the things I need to do and my head is constantly full of all that I’ve left off.

Yes, I made dinner… check. But the dishes didn’t get fully washed because the baby was screaming and there are crumbs on the floor and who had time for a shower last night… is that me I smell?! My hair got straightened this morning, but make up is sloppy, clothes are wrinkled, lunch is non-existent and who says Hershey’s doesn’t make an adequate breakfast bar?

I feel like I’m drowning, y’all. Just flat out drowning. And Banks is doing everything he can to help, but there’s only so much he can do… because he doesn’t make milk and works an hour away from home. So most of the pick up, drop off, fight fight fight, is left to dear old me while he sidles to his quiet car and meanders down the road to Milledgeville.  At work, I’d venture a guess that he’s focused on actual work… while I’m spending my days weighing out what is most important among all the crazy mom/lawyer/wife/homeowner jazz and just getting THAT done, damn the rest, damn the mess, and damn it all to hell and back.

How do you guys do this? How do I see your homes all shiny and perfect like a Martha Stewart showcase, your kids all well dressed in clothes without stains and rips and wrinkles? How do you do family dinners and family outings where the children are actually smiling and having fun? Because my family outings are more like a horror movie with tears in place of blood and lots of angry glances and yelled “YOU ARE HAVING FUN, DAMMIT, THIS IS WHAT FAMILIES DO SO ENJOY EVERY DAGGUM MINUTE OR WE ARE GOING HOME.” And then we get home and while all you good parents are doing crafts and tossing the football back and forth like a damn J Crew catalog photo, I’m turning on the television to whatever seems least likely to teach my kid swear words, and sinking into a chair to breathe (or cry. or drink.) for five minutes before we start this whole rush rush rush thing again.

I love my boys.

I love my life.

But I think I need a live-in nanny, a cook, a cleaner, a masseuse, and someone to just have the job of opening my booze.

I don’t know how y’all do this.


5 Responses to “Parenting Two”

  1. Kelly Hamilton
    June 6th, 2017 @ 11:05 am

    You are doing fine!!! I’m a working mommy (lawyer, too) and my house is by no means clean and sparkly–and my husband is a stay at home dad, and we still have unwashed dishes, crumbs on the floor, clean clothes on the sofa to fold, etc., etc., etc. My mantra when I get home is are the kids happy, no one injures?, fed? Life is good! You got this.

  2. Jessie
    June 6th, 2017 @ 12:04 pm

    Parenting is hard. Parenting a baby is hard. Parenting multiple kids is hard. None of us have it figured out and none of us were doing it right a few weeks now after going back to work. Give yourself some grace. Dishes don’t have to be done, baths doing always have to happen, and don’t even think about cleaning a bathroom or getting out the vacuum. Do what you can do and let the other stuff slide. You got this mama!

  3. Sharon
    June 6th, 2017 @ 1:23 pm

    Mom of twins here, who went back to work full-time as a lawyer when they were 10 weeks old. My answer to “How do you do it all? is “I DON’T!”

    Especially when my sons were infants — and even now that they are 5, to some degree — I have periods where I only do the bare minimum, at work and at home. I hire help to pick up any slack that my husband can’t.

    I don’t believe it’s possible to do everything and do it all well. So I focus on the 2-3 things in a given day or week that I can manage and let the rest fall by the wayside most of the time.

    P.S. If you see people around you with perfect, Martha Stewart-esque homes and well-dressed children, I would venture a guess that they are not dealing with all the same things you are. Or they have given up sleeping. 🙂

  4. Lola Michaels
    June 6th, 2017 @ 8:52 pm

    Don’t be hard on yourself! I guarantee that the kids and hubby are more interested in your being present than in a clean house. 🙂

  5. Lara
    June 10th, 2017 @ 12:19 pm

    Working mom (laywer as well) with a 5 year old and twin 2 year olds. We are all just making it up as we go and barely making it. A lot of those “have it all together moms” either stay home or have a lot of help (grnadma, nanny, housekeeper, etc.)

    My advice is to get a cleaner to come in every 2 weeks. The reset to your home will help everything stay on track. Pay for yard maintenance too. These two thing will save you the most time for the least cost. Embrace cereal for dinner sometimes. And remember that what you see on social media is a snapshot of people at their best (as it should be).

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