Visitation

My son was just placed in his father’s car seat. In his father’s car.  Without me. He asked for me, just as his little blond head was tucked into the seat.  He turned around and stared at me, his mouth moving even after the door was closed and I couldn’t hear him anymore. “Too?” he […]

Being Alone

I’m scared to be alone. Not in a global, emotional way… I don’t have any problem not having a significant other.  I am scared to be alone in my house.  When I’m alone, I start to think about things that I shouldn’t think about.  I start to have dreams at night about things I don’t […]

Scabbing Over

For a while, the hurt was what hurt the most.  I couldn’t understand what I had done to deserve this.  I couldn’t understand why he would leave; couldn’t understand why he didn’t love me.  I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t good enough for him or why he wouldn’t try to work things out.  My pride […]

I Will be Happy

Hello, little house. I have missed your creaks and corners.  I have missed the holes in the walls where our things used to hang and the cracks in the paint along the top of the crown molding. Hello, back yard, with your ivy covered ground and your too-tall pine trees that always terrified the other […]

Stepping Off the Platform

Tomorrow morning, I will take my son to the place he calls “school” for the last time.   He will play with his friends all morning, not really understanding that he will not see them again after tomorrow.  He will lie down for his nap, secure in the knowledge that all is right in his world. […]

Healing… slowly.

Driving back from Columbia, I had an epiphany…. I was letting someone else run my life. It shouldn’t have been surprising; I’d been doing it for awhile.  When I was a kid, I just wanted to be everything my parents expected me to be.  I wanted to be things they never even knew I thought […]

Closure

Some would say I’m a glutton for punishment. Some would say I’m living in a fantasy world of my own design. Some will just call me crazy. But I needed closure. We’d been back and forth so many times; he’d promised to change and I’d agreed then disagreed then agreed again. I knew he said […]

Black and White

I saw an unfamiliar name in my email inbox but there have been so many unfamiliar and supportive emails coming in lately, that I didn’t think twice before opening it. There before me, in black and white, was my signed and file stamped Complaint for divorce. I went out and got the lawyer.  My (insert […]

When Hope Dies

We’ve moved into casual conversation land.  I don’t know when it happened or how I feel about it but yesterday Ex called to check on J and we managed to have a conversation that didn’t end in my wanting to curl up in a ball and die.  That’s got to be progress of some kind… […]

Changes

Something has to change for me. I don’t know what it is, but something has to change.  I have to do something differently or I will explode. If I keep on living the life I was living before, it is as though at any minute, my husband will burst through the door with an enormous […]

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at http://www.law-momma.com.
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