Get it Together

I’ve spent the last three days at home, sick as all get out, with a sick toddler.  And above all the “no sirs” and “PUT THAT DOWN” and “J, PLEASE” the one phrase that got said the most was the simply spat “Get. It. Together.” To be honest, I really don’t know which one of […]

There’s Vomit in My Hair…

Today I’m home sick with a sick kid.  So far he’s thrown up in my hair, peed on the floor, kicked me just beside my knee cap, broken the cabinet in the kitchen, and yelled the word “NO” so many times that I’m still hearing it reverberating around the room.  On top of his irritable […]

The Terrible Threes

For the past two days, I’ve had a stranger living in my house. A small, familiar faced boy, who acts almost exactly like well… dare I say it? A toddler you read about in magazines. For most of his life, J has been relatively even tempered.  He doesn’t throw temper tantrums unless he’s really tired, […]

News from the Trenches

Now that I’m full on “in the trenches” of toddler hood, there are some pieces of wisdom/truths of life with a tiny dictator that I feel I must pass along to those who come behind me.  Sort of like a manual, only less instructional and more “Dude, I’ve been there and it’s really NOT just […]

Silencing the Idle Babble

In The Little Mermaid, Ursula convinced Ariel to give up  her voice in part because “After all dear, what is idle babble for?” The line always sort of amused me but I never gave it much thought until recently. And by recently, I mean the moment that my child learned to string sounds into words […]

My So Called Toddler

Yesterday, we had a play date with a boy in J’s class and his parents.  They came over for dinner and the boys played for a while until their son apparently went to play with a toy that J didn’t want him to play with.  A small argument ensued and I did what all parents […]

Encouragement in the Strangest of Places

When I got to daycare today, one of the other moms was dropping off her son.  He’s a little older than J but not by much, and they’re in the same class at school.  We made small talk about being single in Macon (she’s recently remarried) and she joked that men would be lining up […]

There Are Only So Many Words for “Piss” and “Crap”

I can not get the smell of pee out of my nose or the feeling that I have poop on me somewhere out of my head.  It’s like going back in time to when I first became a mom, only so much worse. There is pee on our sofa, pee on our rug, pee on […]

Ordinary Magic

“Thank you for making the horses, and thank you for the cows,” he turned and looked over at me, “It’s your turn now, Mommy!” I figured we were on an animal kick in our prayers so I chimed in: “And thank you for the fish.” “Yeah! And thank you for the sharks,” he was giggling […]

Parenting a Toddler is a lot like… Life.

I spend most of my days in the land of threats and promises. “Don’t do that again or I will take away your pacifier.” “If you kick me one more time, we’re not HAVING a birthday party for you.” “Go clean up your toys or no afternoon snack.” These things fly out of my mouth at the speed […]

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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